My cat gives me a boner
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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