dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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