i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize