you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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