I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't just leave with hair like that
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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