I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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