Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
She told me I should be a condom model.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
How many fucks given?
0.12846
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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