I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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