I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize