we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
There's always time for handjobs
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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