her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize