The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
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How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
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I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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