I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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