See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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