I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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