it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
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Whats the glycemic index on semen?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
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I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize