Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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