I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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