make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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