Only a mothe r could love this liver
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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