If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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