so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize