okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
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The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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