The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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