His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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