Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize