Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
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Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
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When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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