just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
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