How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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