All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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