i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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