Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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