Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize