I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize