Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Randomize