The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
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Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
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When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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