you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize