i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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