No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize