not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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