haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
