I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
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