Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Terrible idea I love it
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
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