Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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