I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
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I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
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He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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