Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize