All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
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I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
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It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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