i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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