All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
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I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
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I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
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