worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize